Four Times Aomine is a Dork
by MochiUs
Summary: Aomine is a dork. Plain and simple. These are a few example of his total lameness.


"Aomine, stop moving your foot. It's distracting."

"Shut up Wakamatsu," he bites back. "This line is fucking ridiculous."

There is at least thirty people in front of the rest of the Touou team. He doesn't get why he was dragged with them in the first place. Unlike Imayoshi and the other team members, he's not included in the hype that suddenly got everyone into the Star Wars fever. Actually he never watched the trilogy and refuses to do so.

"Act cool all you want, but when we face the big screen, you're gonna act all doe-eyed when the light sabers come out," the blond sneers.

"In your dreams nerd," Aomine huffs.

The movie will probably be entertaining in terms of visual effects, but this movie is just a scam to rack big money by stroking the childhood nostalgia of the older generation.

He sticks out like a sore thumb among the guys, who were wearing a variety of Star Wars merchandise to honor the franchise. Surprisingly Satsuki is donning a Darth Vader cap, and, to his chagrin, he spotted a dude cosplaying as Princess Leia in broad daylight.

However, he has to admit, that takes commitment.

After a million years or so later, he finally reaches the ticket booth.

"Star Wars for the 1:45 showing," he says boorishly.

The woman behind the glass inputs the information and asks politely, "For how many?"

"Two," Aomine groans as Satsuki bounces excitedly.

He pays the fee and is ready to get this over with until the woman manning the ticket booth says, "Thank you very much and enjoy the movie!"

Aomine, too bored to realize what he said afterwards, moves on with his life and says, "Yeah, you too."

"..."

Aomine's mind screeches to a halt.

He stops.

Then he widens his eyes as he reevalutates what he just said.

And then the mortification hits him like a truck.

"Oh my God," he says, horrified.

He hears an obnoxious snicker and turns around to see that it's Wakamatsu, poorly stifling his laughter as he pays for his ticket. What's worse is that the rest of the team witnessed the entire scene, too.

"Oh my God," he groans and hides his face.

This just made his entire team laugh harder and harder. The continue to follow him as they enter the movie theater, constantly teasing him about his embarrassing blunder. This sours Aomine's mood, but he hopes that this will all be forgotten in a month.

The movie was slightly amusing at least.

* * *

Aomine's friends understand that he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but even up to this day, the rest of the Generation of Miracles cannot determine if Aomine was too tired to think or too stupid that infamous day.

Geography is not exactly Aomine's worst subject, but it's definitely not his best.

"Summer homework is such a drag," he complains and stretches out his arms. "The point of a summer vacation is to have a _break_."

Concerned for their ace's ability to finish his workload, the rest of the Generation of Miracles banded together and agreed to lock Aomine in Akashi's mansion for three days until he is finished with his assignments. Teiko overall is a prestigious school, and with a student like Aomine, he is bound to ignore his homework until the last minute.

"How are you going to finish this," Midorima asks curtly as he slams a stack of papers in front of the blue-haired teen, "in three days when you haven't even finished a page?!"

"With procrastination, of course," he answers smugly.

His carefree manner irks the bespectacled man, but before he can blow a fuse, somebody jabs Aomine with his pencil.

"That is not a good strategy, Aomine-kun," Kuroko admonishes.

Aomine yelps in pain and clutches his side as if he was mortally wounded. Well, knowing his shadow, it's probably worse. He raises his shirt a little and winces when he sees the fresh, red mark below his ribs.

"Tetsu!" He bares his teeth. "What was that for?!"

The shorter teen is not fazed at all and crosses his arms.

"Please do something productive and work, Aomine-kun. We have all gathered here in order to help answer any questions you may have," he says sternly.

"Even the no-brainer ones," Midorima mutters under his breath.

"Hey!" Aomine shouts, offended.

"Do not worry Aominecchi!" Kise cheerfully says as he slides to his side. He pats his shoulder reassuringly. "I didn't do my summer homework either!"

Kuroko pokes the happy-go-lucky model without a hint of mercy. "That is not something you should be celebrating about, Kise-kun."

The golden-eyed boy immediately curls into a ball and cries in pain.

"Kurokocchi," he whines, "That hurts."

He zips his lips, however, when he sees the death glare from his fellow teammate.

"Slackers," Midorima shakes his head disapprovingly and readjusts his glasses.

Aomine shoots the green-haired prude a look and stares at the first paper laid out in front of him.

Murasakibara is working on his book report at the coffee table while consuming his never-ending supply of snacks. Momoi is most likely at the kitchen, probably concocting an inhuman cocktail of some sort. Akashi, on the other hand, is sitting snugly at the corner of his favorite sofa, contently sipping tea as he begins to type his essays.

For a while, the room was peaceful and tranquil... until Aomine's stupidity ruined the silence.

"Guys..." Aomine says.

Minus Akashi, the rest of his friends raised their heads expectantly.

The navy-haired boy bites his lip. "Africa... is a country, right?"

No one dared to say a word, too stunned to even make a retort to that question.

Aomine furrows his brows. "Guys?"

Murasakibara heaves a huge sigh and decides to break the ice.

"Mine-chin," he says in a soft voice as if to ease him into the truth, "Africa is a continent, not a country."

"..."

A profound pause overtook the room. Then the worst happened. Aomine _laughs_.

"That's funny Murasakibara," and he waves his hand as if to shoo away the giant's ridiculousness, "It's obvious that Africa is a country."

Kise fiddles with his hands. "But Aominecchi... Africa is a continent."

"Guys, I think I'm smart enough to know that Africa is a country."

Midorima grits his teeth. "Africa is a continent."

"Geez, I can't believe you guys are still going on with this joke. Look," he pulls out a nearby laptop, "I'll google Africa and show all of you that Africa is definitely-"

"I'm sorry, Aomine-kun, but Africa is a continent," Kuroko deadpans.

"Tetsu," Aomine grimaces, "Google is lying to me. It's saying that Africa is a continent."

Before he could start a full-blown argument, Akashi steps in. "Aomine, Africa is a continent, not a country. End of discussion."

And with that, Aomine begrudgingly accepts this fact and resumes working. After all, how could he oppose his captain when his eyes flash dangerously like that?

* * *

"Fuck!" he curses. "Fuck my life."

"Stop being overly dramatic," Kagami complains.

"God, I'm so screwed," Aomine says as he wallows in self-pity and pounds the floor. "Just kill me now."

Kagami cocks one forked eyebrow. After pondering if he should just ignore the intruder or check up on the tanned male, Kagami resigns to his fate and asks, "What's wrong?"

"I freaking painted this symbol the wrong color! It's supposed to be red, not black!" Aomine panics and scrunches up his hair with his hands. "If Kuroko notices, he'll skewer me alive!"

Aomine has reason to panic because what he is currently working on is their final project together. After graduation, the two accidentally ended up taking a class together, and with this mistake, not only is his grade on the line, his long-lasting friendship with Tetsu is in grave danger.

Kagami massages his temples. He thought being Kuroko's roommate would be more relaxed, more enjoyable than living with a total stranger, and yet here he is, watching Aomine fail at life.

"I don't think that's enough for Kuroko to commit murder," he intones. "Once he gets back from his class, you can tell him what happened. Stop distracting yourself and finish your damn project."

"Wow, for once you're actually making sense."

"Don't test me Aomine Daiki," Kagami growls, "Or I will kick you out of this apartment."

Aomine childishly sticks out his tongue and proceeds to paint the exact same symbol in the exact same color he used before.

Kagami furrows his brows. This puzzles him greatly.

"Aomine?"

"What?" The blue-haired man says gruffly.

"I'm confused. Why was the symbol earlier a mistake?"

Aomine looks at him as if he's crazy, or worse, that he decided basketball was a complete waste of time.

"Didn't I just explain it to you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Geez, they don't call you Bakagami for nothing," he mutters.

"Aomine!" Kagami snaps. "Just tell me why you made a mistake in the first place!"

Aomine sighs as if he was given the heaviest burden of mankind. "Look, Tetsu told me to color all of these symbols red, but I accidentally colored it black because the words next to it have to be painted black. Got it?"

"So..." Kagami drawls, "This symbol," he points to the first mistake, "has to be red, right?"

"Yes."

"Then..." Kagami scratches his chin in befuddlement, "Why did you paint that other symbol black?"

Aomine stiffens and almost gives himself whiplash as he gapes at what the redhead referred to. His mouth is slack, and he loses his grip on the paintbrush as it drops to the ground.

"SHIT."

* * *

Christmas is just around the corner, and Aomine is in the holiday cheer.

"Someone's awfully happy," Momoi observes thoughtfully.

"Well," Aomine grins proudly, "I bought Tetsu the best present ever."

Last year, he was too distracted with his own issues to hand a gift to his past shadow. Besides, with all of the events that led up to the end of the Winter Cup, Tetsu and his team were too busy dealing with all of the reporters that flooded their school. However, this year is the year when he can finally show his appreciation.

"What did you get him?" she squeals.

Aomine rubs his nose conceitedly and haughtily explains, "Remember that book Tetsu was engrossed with last month?"

His childhood friend nods her head, vaguely remembering the light blue-haired boy being absorbed with a novel the month before.

"It was written by one of his favorite philosophers, if I recall."

"Yeah," Aomine's eyes sparkled even more as he continues, "So I pretended to act indifferent, but actually when I went to the bookstore," he pulls out a hand-wrapped present shaped like a book, "I quickly bought this!"

"The same book?" the pink-haired girl tilts her head in wonder.

"No, Satsuki!" Aomine groans, "It's the sequel to the book he was reading!"

Momoi claps her hands excitedly. "That's so thoughtful of you, Dai-chan!" she praises. "Tetsu-kun will surely love it!"

Aomine anxiously rubs the back of neck. "You think so?"

"Yes! I know so!"

The two continue their usual bickering until they stopped by Maji Burger, which is the location where Aomine's hopes and dreams were shattered forever. Near the back of the fast food joint is Kagami, scarfing down his daily intake of burgers, and Kuroko. Reading a book. And not just any book. But the same book Aomine has inside his bag.

"Dai-chan," Momoi whispers, concerned, "Isn't that-"

He pales. "Yeah," he says with a shuddered breath, "This sucks."

"You can return it, right?"

"I kinda threw away the receipt."

"You're not supposed to do that!"

"It's a habit!"

"Momoi-san, Aomine-kun, what a surprise to see you here."

They stiffen and slowly turn their heads to see the source of that voice.

Momoi is the first one to regain her composure and gasps, "Tetsu-kun!" She leaps over to him with open arms.

"Hey Tetsu," Aomine says gruffly, not making eye contact.

Kuroko makes a subtle smile and tries to pry Momoi's hands off of him. It's not everyday he gets to see them.

"Would like to come over and sit with us?"

Aomine, who was over Kuroko's shoulder at this point, makes obvious gestures of rejecting his offer, but Momoi, who obviously has a huge crush on the phantom sixth man, says yes in a heartbeat. Aomine slumps in defeat.

He disdainfully plops next to Kagami and frowns. He hates the seating arrangements, but it's a noble sacrifice. In frustration, he roughly drops his bag, which causes the present in his bag to fall out. This catches Kuroko's attention.

He lowers himself to grab it. "Aomine-kun, you dropped this."

The gift is wrapped in dark red wrapping paper with cute miniature candy canes decorating it. He does not mean to be nosy but reads the label for its intended person.

Aomine jumps up, scaring Kagami in the process. "Tetsu! Don't!"

"Is this for me?" Kuroko softly asks. He raises his head and expectantly waits for an answer.

"Yes, but no- I mean, kind of- but..." Aomine trails off. He sighs and is resigned to his fate. "Yes," he says miserably. "Yes."

"May I open it?"

"Yes," Aomine says with dead eyes. He bangs his head against the table. "Go ahead."

"Is there something wrong with it?" Kuroko wonders and slowly peels off the wrapping.

"Not really but it's-"

Kuroko widens his eyes. "Oh, I see. It's the same book I have right here."

Aomine flushes. He has a distinct need of burying himself below a boulder.

However, Kuroko doesn't mock him or tease him. He doesn't comment on how lame and dorky that was. He doesn't even outwardly laugh.

Instead, he says, "Thank you."

Kagami snorts, "Yeah, that's oddly nice of you." He could have added more, but then he uncharacteristically yelps as if something kicked against his shin.

"Even though I already have a copy," Kuroko says, "I can keep this copy for school."

"That's great Aomine-kun!" Momoi smiles, "Everything is resolved!"

With that resolution, Aomine twitches his lips, and after battling the mixed emotions residing within him, he, too, smiles. Reflecting upon the whole situation, it's pretty funny on second thought, so he laughs a good, hearty laugh. Infected, the rest of the people laugh along with him. After all, Aomine is such a dork.


End file.
